Torture

Then next time happened between 8th grade and senior year. I was over at.... you guessed it Jimmy’s house. This time was the worst time. It was the middle of the afternoon. It was just Jimmy and myself at his house. Jimmy went to go find other people to come over so he rode his bike out. I didn’t feel like riding and I needed to cool down and rest so I was chilling on the couch. About 5 mins later Justin and a friend came home I wasn’t alarmed at this point but I kept tabs on where they were. They went into Justin’s room and were laughing and joking around. I was in the living room with my eyes glued on the TV screen. I was watching power rangers, a show that I was never allowed to watch. I was watching the TV, Jimmy had been gone for like 20 mins now and Justin and “Zack” were quietly in his room. the show had just gone to commercial when Zack and Justin come out from behind the couch and grab me by my hand and legs and start to carry me into Justin’s Bedroom. I was struggling but the two of them were too strong. they wrestled my sweat pants off and in the mean time my shirt started to rip as well as the boxer briefs I had on. They successfully got the rest of my clothing off although it was tattered and torn. My body had some scratch marks on it where they had been holding me down. They had successfully tied my arms together to the headboard of the bed and my feet were tied separately one to one side of the foot board and the other to the other. They were winded so they left me there. Tied down on Justin’s bed I struggled and screamed but there was no use no one else was home. I was tired and weak from riding my bike all day and then wrestling them as they tied me down. I had been screaming the whole time. They were too mostly Zack saying I was worthless, weak, insufficient, a bastard, bitch, what ever poured out of his mouth. It smelt like they had been drinking. They were college age anyways it wouldn’t have surprised me. Justin takes off his clothes and gets on the bed with me and Zack took pictures of us together. Justin gets on top of me and starts to do what he usually does with my rump. They flip me over and take pictures of me alone facing the ceiling now in the nude spread wide eagle. They get me excited and take pictures of that. Justin kisses me on the lips and Zack continues taking pictures. I am stuck wide spread facing the ceiling unable to move. At least they had the decency to cover me up with part of the sheet as they left. I feel asleep from exhaustion of trying to get out of my bounds. The thin rope that they used was cutting into my wrists and ankles. After what seemed like hours later Zack entered into the room this woke me up. His eyes were full of lust from being left out. He was alone just myself and him. He started spouting out names at me. Then off the shelf he took a bat and hit me across the stomach, the legs and, chest. Calling me a bastard for scratching him earlier (I can only guess as they were stripping me down). I as he hit me across the stomach I puked up all over the side of the bed. He then dropped the bat whipped off his belt and started to whip me with it. While he was doing this he started to say that if I screamed that he would make it worse. He then grabbed the belt in the other hand and started to lash at me with the buckle. I was now hurting all over my body. It is not like I haven’t gotten whipped before or gotten abused, that was actually common for me. But I had never been tied down both hands and feet before let alone naked. Every time that I have been beaten before I had to bite my lip and take it, I was never allowed to whimper, scream, fight back, cry, ect. I was so ashamed. He then when satisfied that he punished me enough for scratching him jumped on me and the bed. The ropes were now supporting both bodies cutting into my wrists more. He was still clothed as he started to scratch and bite me. He would clench my legs then dragged, and pulled until his nails cut me. I had scratch marks all up and down my legs. He was paying me back for scratching him. Grabbing my hair he started to bite my neck then he move to my lips. He then unzipped his pants and whipped out his little buddy and shoved it forcefully into my mouth. I had already puked once. It came and went came and went in my mouth. Just like I remembered. I was starting to have flash backs. I wanted him off me so I bit him. He only got angry and punched me in the face, the, chest, abs, and groin. After he did this he moved down my abdomen licking me all the way down. Clenched my butt with his hands and shoved his face on my junk and started to bite, tear, ect. I have never been in so much pain before. His nails were digging into my behind as his mouth was all over me. When he was finished. He untied my legs just to flip me over again. He fully took of the rest of his clothing and jumped on me like a wild animal again biting, scratching, punching. He opened up my butt checks and inserted himself. He was there for what seemed like hours. Roughly pleasing himself. At this point I was bleeding from pretty much every where. You might not have recognized me with the blood, scratches, feathers(from the pillow), puke, bites, ect. He kept going again and again. In out in out. Waiting until he was able to do it again and then he did it again. Meanwhile telling me that I was nothing and the consequences if I would tell. Everyone would think I was gay. They would show the pictures. ect. My parents would disown me. ect. Making me feel like it was my fault and that he had power over me. He kept starting the process of deflating and reflating and mounting, doing everything again and again. He probably gave me anal sex approximately 7 times before he puked all over my back. He then caught his breath and then he practically passed out on top of me. Sooner or later Justin comes back in the room and sees the state I was in. He starts screaming at Zack saying that he was drunk and took it way to far. Justin sounded drunk himself. He grabbed Zack and peeled him off me. It seems that between the photo shoot and Zack raping me he had a bit to drink and he was stumbling on the floor covering himself up. Justin was stumbling over himself. Mumbling about being sorry and to leave quickly. I was in so much pain. I threw on my clothes on top of my bloody mess and grabbed my bike. I took it around the back and headed straight for the woods. I knew a creek back there. I couldn’t let mom find out. I would be in so much trouble. I washed up and walked home. My mother wasn’t there. I took a shower and cried myself to sleep. I was all alone. Tired, worthless, weak, defeated, so many different emotions. From that day on would start my night terrors where I wake up suddenly in the middle of the night scratching myself and screaming. This would then die down as I suppress this incident and all of them from my mind.
Life afterwards. I hate men they are filthy animals. Not just for what they did to me but for how they think of women, how they treat women, how they treat me. How every one that has ever cared hurt me. I live a life of hurt and mistrust. I can’t even trust myself. I injure myself ever since I have brought this back up recently. I wake up in the middle of the night humping my bed, masturbating within my sheets. Everyone that I tell looks on at me differently when I tell them. I feel like I am a monster that can’t even control himself. I am a nut. I can’t even ask for help. People think that I make this up for attention. I would be so happy if this wasn’t reality. I HATE my life. I just wish it was different. I want someone to love me. I want someone to hold me tell me that it is okay and not hurt me. I have been abused by christian men trying to invoke points into me that they shove me against walls, hit me, punch me, grab my hair. Ect. All while trying to teach me that God loves me? Every man that has ever led me has failed. Has physically hurt me, or emotionally hurt me. To the men that don’t do this I get emotionally attached and they cannot deal with me any more so they cut off all strings. Men suck. I hate men. Everyone is afraid to touch me. It is like I am possessed.