Another episode

The next time it happened I made a severe mistake that I would never make again. It was around 6th grade I went over to a guy’s house, the only one that I could go over when I wasn’t grounded. It was the only place I could escape to besides church that I could get away to. We were watching movies and his older brother was forced to watch us because “Jimmy’s” parents weren’t home. We were watching “The Kid” and something else by this time Jimmy had already fallen asleep in the living room where we had planned to crash. This left myself and Jimmy’s older brother “Justin” still awake. We started talking about school and home. I was upset when he brought those up because I was picked on and no one cared about me and I couldn’t please my father. I mentioned in anger that I was weak and that I couldn’t ever defend myself because I was scared. Quite a bit in the conversation after he started to comfort me I started to trust him with my deepest secrets. But before I did I realized I had to use the restroom. He said that I might want to get ready for bed as well. I slipped gym shorts on over my briefs to sleep in. I quickly brushed my teeth took off my shirt and I was ready to go. As I came out he was ready for bed as well in his boxers and no shirt. He called me over into his room to continue our conversation. I willingly came, he was someone who cared about me. We sat at the end of his bed and started to talk again. He brought up my father and how we didn’t get along very well. He started to comfort and coo me. He wrapped his arms around me to comfort me pulling me closer. I could hear his heart beating. He was starting to get more direct and aggressive in his conversation. His words were sweet and caring and everything that I hoped for. I started to bring up everything that was happening in my life and with everything I said I started to trust him more. My face started to burrow inside of his chest and his arms enveloped me. I started to talk how I have hated the world of men and all they have ever done is hurt me and make fun of me. Again his words were caring and he told me he loved me. That he would protect me and keep me safe. I liked feeling him hold me and say that he cared. He made me feel protected and secure. I then mentioned something I hadn’t told anyone. I told him that a man had put his thing in my mouth and now as I know what it is called raped me. I described it in detail to him and I was crying and shivering and he was holding me. He told me that I had nothing to be afraid of that he was here to protect me. He rocked me back and forth until I had cried myself asleep. I vaguely remember him carrying me and placing me under the covers of his bed and then he climbed in and held me close to his chest and then falling asleep again. His body was warm against mine. The next time that I woke up I no longer had my clothes on nor did he but he was still holding me and I felt secure. He started to realize that I was awake and he started shifting and whispering in my ear. That he was right here protecting me. Couldn’t I feel he strong body against mine. That body will protect you for it is strong. He started to take my arms and place them above my head with his hands. He then rolled me onto my stomach and laid on top of me. He was warm. I was confused on what he was doing. His strong legs started to wrap around my legs spreading them apart. His little friend was already hard and laying there against my skin. While holding my arms down with one hand he propped himself up with the other hand. He placed his friend horizontal in my crack. It was like a hot dog on a bun. It was also as if he had put lotion on it for it was slippery and wet. His body started to rise and fall on top of mine and I was being held down. I started to squirm for I know that last time something happened with a mans friend I was disgusting and in trouble. He was whispering in my ear that it was okay that he was just protecting me. He repositioned himself to where it was entering my anal canal and he slowed down going in and out slower. I was not big enough for his junk to go through so it started to crack/split and bleed. It hurt so bad. I was trembling he cooed me until I was quiet as he continued to go. He then didn’t just whisper in my ear he started to nibble on it. His sweaty body was gross. I was stuck with no where to go and he was so strong and holding me down. I could only cry. He then finished his work and lay there still emerged in my body. I cried myself asleep again with him laying on top of me resting.The next time I woke I was in the living room with my clothes on next to Jimmy. Justin came to me later that morning and said if I told anyone that he wouldn’t protect me at school and he would tell my parents what I did at the base ball park. So I didn’t tell anyone. Ever.