The First time

Around the age of 8 I was at my brother’s baseball game at a park in some distant state. I was at the playground when I urgently had to use the rest room so my mom let me go by myself. My mother was paying attention to the game and my father was coaching. I ran as fast as I could to the restroom as I walked in to the stall. There was someone in the bathroom as well. He had been standing by the door. As I went into my stall he proceeded to follow me into my stall. I realized he was right there as I tried to close the stall door but his hand was there to stop me from closing the door. The stall happened to be a handicap stall so it could easily fit the both of us and the toilet I backed away from him and the backs of my legs hit the toilet in the corner and I fell upon the closed seat. He came at me swift and pursuingly. I started to ask who he was but he claimed that it didn’t matter. The next part happened quite fast and all of a-sudden. He whipped out his already erect friend from below and clenched on to my face with his hands right behind my ears. He looked at me straight in the eyes. He started laying the ground rules for what was to happen next. Don’t scream or I will hurt you, don’t bite me or you will regret it later that it would be even worse than I could imagine. From there he had to whack off a bit to get his friend fully ready as he told me to open my mouth. Once he was already prepared he forcefully put his friend in my open mouth. He used his hands to keep my head in place as he did his work in and out in and out grunting like an animal. I was not sure what was happening at this point I didn’t know anything about anatomy and what parts functioned as what. Anyways it got to the point where it felt like he was doing it for sometime. When suddenly it felt like he peed in my mouth. It was disgusting. I felt like I was going to puke I was trying so hard to push him away. I was being careful not to bite but I didn’t want that foreign object in my mouth. It pushed that hanging thing my mouth that made me gag. At this point I had peed my pants cause I hadn’t gone yet. I was so scared I didn’t know him I didn’t know what to do. He started to relax and loosen his grip enough that I could push him far enough away to breathe. After I got my breath I started wiggling to get it out of my mouth.The Top of my head was wet, he had been drooling on me. I finally got him to get it out of my mouth. His back went against the door blocking my escape as he caught his breath and tucked his little friend away. I sat there in shock as he keep breathing loudly. He then started talking to me very forcefully grabbing me by the shoulders shaking me as he told me if I told anyone I would be in so much trouble and that like me again and that I was disgusting and useless. He wanted to assure me that I was weak and he was the bigger man. He started to leave me alone when he saw that I was scared that I had wet my pants and he was comfortable that I wouldn’t tell anyone. He left me there sitting in shock in my soiled pants wondering what just had happened. I ended up throwing away my soiled undergarments and then hiding on the playground trying hard not to cry. I was so small, weak, insufficient, gross, disgusting, worthless, afraid, scared, and so much crap.

Starting

My consciousness began to come to the fore front of my mind. I started to remember myself in a struggle. I  was only 12 years old. The guys I was struggling with were in their twenties. Wire winds across my wrists as I was being bound to a bed. My legs were pulled open and photos were being taken one right after the other. They striped and cut the clothes off of me and more and more pictures were taken. "Open your mouth and you will want to die." One of them would say. They started to play with me to make me grow. More pictures are taken. I screamed and they hit me in on my head. I ended up opening my eyes and I  found out that my nightmares were real. There is a man lying on top of me naked, soaked with sweat. I tried to move my arms but they were still tied down to the bed. The other man was lying between my legs. I started to cry because I didn't know what to do. I fell asleep after what seems like hours. When I woke up the next time I was being slapped up the side of the head. Here is where they started to tell me the rules. 1. Tell anyone, and you will be known as the whore. 2. I will rip your ass apart, fucking you like there was no tomorrow. 3. No one will ever like you except for us. We like you just the way you are. 4. Tell your parents and they will disown you. You fucking Gay. Aren't they Christians? What would they say. 5. I know where you live. I didn't say anything I just nodded my head.

Chained

(All names have been altered.)

At the age of 18 I ran away from home. It was then I found out that being chained up in a basement was not typical upbringing for a boy through out his life. I remember one of the first times it happened. Kent was disappointed in me. I was not the boy that he wanted me to be. He took me down to his basement and at first just tied me to a support beam. There were nights I sat their in my briefs until I soiled them. When I did he would take off his belt untie me to face the beam while he worked. At first it was his belt. My back bruised and there parts that started to bleed. . .

He continued to go for what seemed like hours most days. If he was really mad he would get the bat. Hard enough to bruise but not break anything....

I was what he viewed a a gay little boy...

Little did he know that I have never been gay nor wanted to be. It is a common misconception for boys that appear to be weak.

Thats what I was, weak, pathetic, little bastard, pin cushin, his bitch, you name it. it happened.